You’re right. No one needs our ghoulish sacrifices. What a great way to express this illogical fear. I hope you and your mom are able to share all the love and laughter and potato salad.
Much love to both you and your mom. My dad had radiation, forehead and neck cancer, and the only thing that tasted good to him for years after was tomato soup. Losing these things of joy in our life sometimes doesn’t seem like the best bargain. Thank you for nuanced discussion of the yin and yang of suffering and happiness. They are never separate and they both need to be experienced.
I'm here via the AHCJ newsletter & as writer who formerly worked as a nurse & daughter of a woman who's had cancer 3 times, I agree w you: We -- healthcare professionals, the public -- too often dismiss/don't talk about these "minor" impacts & effects of medical treatment. But they matter! As you so beautifully write, "But suffering and dying are not the only things suffering and dying people do. They laugh. They read the paper. They play stupid little games on their stupid little phones."
Big hugs to you and your mom. Potato salad is one of the only things I want to eat in times of extreme stress, the other being cottage cheese, something I rarely eat otherwise. Last year there were a couple of pretty bad weeks when I just ate those, plus hummus on a rolled up tortilla. There are definitely worse things to consume. The cucumber angle is a new one to me, so looking forward to trying this recipe.
My dad went through an aggressive radiotherapy programme and it completely depleted him and his appetite, but it conjured a near fetish-level interest in Gorgonzola—go figure. Fingers crossed for your mom.
Amazing post. Re: the "no one talks about this feature of chemo because it 'isn't important'" I'm reminded of pregnancy. There were so many minor annoyances of being pregnant I was totally unprepared for because all I knew about was morning sickness and being big. Those sucked too, but the way constant nausea sapped my will to work and the way not being able to wear my favorite clothes made me feel boring and sad were somehow not on my radar. I even had weird changes to my tongue that made ice cream cause swelling (??) that no pregnancy book mentioned, and only some Google searching revealed was "a thing that happens." I think this is why support groups are so useful - so you can bitch to other people unprepared about things and they get that those things are not unimportant or small.
Pregnancy is another great example! I have a lot of unprecious friends who have gone through it, and I am continually horrified/amused by the things they tell me about their bodies that no health class prepared me for.
Best wishes to your mom and all the luck. My dad also temporarily lost his taste during chemo. The metallic taste of chemo was also true for him. He lost his smell and taste when he got COVID last year - said it was "similar but the tastes it screwed up were different."
Taste is fickle. I hear airlines have to season food differently because we have a decreased sense of taste at altitude. And not everyone can taste everything. I’m blind to Diacetyl, that popcorn butter/butterscotch flavor, which is a bummer for a home brewer.
Many medications are said to have a “zinc” taste. Why they don’t say metallic is beyond me. I don’t have any better sense of zinc than at a wine tasting where someone says “black currant.”
So, you are right. Taste is joy. Thanks for making a little joy for your mom and for us.
Absolutely hate potato salad (don't anyone get weird with me on it). May I and everyone else never endure a go to food you despise because of illness. Thanks Liz.
You’re right. No one needs our ghoulish sacrifices. What a great way to express this illogical fear. I hope you and your mom are able to share all the love and laughter and potato salad.
Much love to both you and your mom. My dad had radiation, forehead and neck cancer, and the only thing that tasted good to him for years after was tomato soup. Losing these things of joy in our life sometimes doesn’t seem like the best bargain. Thank you for nuanced discussion of the yin and yang of suffering and happiness. They are never separate and they both need to be experienced.
Thinking good thoughts for you and your mom, Liz.
And thanks for linking to that 2022 IV clinic story — great work! Always a treat to read more of your writing.
I'm here via the AHCJ newsletter & as writer who formerly worked as a nurse & daughter of a woman who's had cancer 3 times, I agree w you: We -- healthcare professionals, the public -- too often dismiss/don't talk about these "minor" impacts & effects of medical treatment. But they matter! As you so beautifully write, "But suffering and dying are not the only things suffering and dying people do. They laugh. They read the paper. They play stupid little games on their stupid little phones."
Thanks, Jennifer! I didn't know about the AHCJ newsletter. If you're willing to forward, I'd be curious to see—lizcook.kc@gmail.com
Just did :)
Big hugs to you and your mom. Potato salad is one of the only things I want to eat in times of extreme stress, the other being cottage cheese, something I rarely eat otherwise. Last year there were a couple of pretty bad weeks when I just ate those, plus hummus on a rolled up tortilla. There are definitely worse things to consume. The cucumber angle is a new one to me, so looking forward to trying this recipe.
My dad went through an aggressive radiotherapy programme and it completely depleted him and his appetite, but it conjured a near fetish-level interest in Gorgonzola—go figure. Fingers crossed for your mom.
I’m glad he could still derive pleasure from something, but as a blue-cheese loather, this is my nightmare. Hope your dad’s doing well!
Amazing post. Re: the "no one talks about this feature of chemo because it 'isn't important'" I'm reminded of pregnancy. There were so many minor annoyances of being pregnant I was totally unprepared for because all I knew about was morning sickness and being big. Those sucked too, but the way constant nausea sapped my will to work and the way not being able to wear my favorite clothes made me feel boring and sad were somehow not on my radar. I even had weird changes to my tongue that made ice cream cause swelling (??) that no pregnancy book mentioned, and only some Google searching revealed was "a thing that happens." I think this is why support groups are so useful - so you can bitch to other people unprepared about things and they get that those things are not unimportant or small.
Pregnancy is another great example! I have a lot of unprecious friends who have gone through it, and I am continually horrified/amused by the things they tell me about their bodies that no health class prepared me for.
Best wishes to your mom and all the luck. My dad also temporarily lost his taste during chemo. The metallic taste of chemo was also true for him. He lost his smell and taste when he got COVID last year - said it was "similar but the tastes it screwed up were different."
Sending some peace and joy moments to your mom, and to you.
Cancer sucks, sending good thoughts to your mom.
Taste is fickle. I hear airlines have to season food differently because we have a decreased sense of taste at altitude. And not everyone can taste everything. I’m blind to Diacetyl, that popcorn butter/butterscotch flavor, which is a bummer for a home brewer.
Many medications are said to have a “zinc” taste. Why they don’t say metallic is beyond me. I don’t have any better sense of zinc than at a wine tasting where someone says “black currant.”
So, you are right. Taste is joy. Thanks for making a little joy for your mom and for us.
Absolutely hate potato salad (don't anyone get weird with me on it). May I and everyone else never endure a go to food you despise because of illness. Thanks Liz.
"We attend to suffering in so many ways, and very few of them are by staring at it without blinking."
This is going to stick with me for a while. Beautiful post. Best of luck to you and your family